It's hard

I have been ready to submit my short story for some time now, but I just haven't been able to press the send button. I thought that this would be the easy part. The story is written and re-written and review and edited. Somehow I just can't do it.

I'm worried it will be accepted. Sounds weird I know, you're supposed to worry about being rejected, but if it's accepted that means I really can write. I no longer have an excuse not to take my writing seriously, because someone else out there agrees there's something good in what I write.

Stupid isn't it.

However I've also made a few decisions. First I want to quit my job. I'm not going to do it immediately, but I will start looking at other jobs and opportunities. I'm not sure a full-time, nine-to-five job is really for me anymore, though the paycheck comes in very handy. So I'm also going to look at alternative ways of earning money.

Like through writing or translation or maybe a web shop, which has nothing to do with the previous two options, but it is considerably different from anything I do now. Of course this means I need to start pressing the submit button. I feel sick at the thought, but the sooner I do so, the sooner I'll know if it's a viable option or not.

If it isn't, then I still write and take part in NaNoWriMo. I'm not going to stop. I'll probably even still submit, if I get over my fear, every now and then, but I'll concentrate on other ways to make a living. And, yes, I need to earn money.

We've been a to income family for a long time now and we chose that route deliberately. We love old houses, so we bought one. But it takes a lot of time and money, however we have no intention of selling up to buy something modern and easy to maintain, that just isn't us. Old house and old cars are our passion and I just have to find another way to pay for them.

My job isn't such that I have to quit either for my health or sanity, but I'm just not enjoying it as much as I should be and I have no enthusiasm, which is beginning to show. I know it's time to move on. So now is the time to put effort into the writing and submitting process as well as look at other avenues. Maybe I'll get lucky and find the perfect job...